My favorite Jordan story is about his gift giving tendencies. Jordan loved to give gifts, for no reason at all. But his idea of appropriate gifts was occasionally rather strange. For Valentine's Day, he, looking like the cat who got the canary, gave me a Hot Topic Nightmare Before Christmas bag. I thanked him, thinking that that was really odd, but sweet that he made the effort. Then I noticed that he was still giving me that shit eating grin. "Nooo! Look inside!" Well, inside it was quite possibly the most appropriate Valentine's Day gift ever - The Key to Hell from The Sandman. I fell in love with him all over again at that. Many men give their girls flowers, chocolates and jewelry... How many take the time to know her well enough to get the one prop that she's been coveting for years?
Jordan was just like that. He was the sweetest, most thoughtful man I've ever met. And it wasn't contrived or worked at. That was just *him*. He knew what to say to make you feel better. He knew how to make anyone laugh at the drop of a hat.
Even after I broke up with him, he made an amazing effort to be friendly to me while I was being a confused idiot. We became closer and closer again in the months leading up to Celebration III. He was helping me plan my armor, and just generally being a great friend. We met up at CIII Saturday evening, and after seeing the worst movie on the face of this earth (Sahara) we went to a restaurant and sat talking for hours. It felt like coming home. Talking to Jordan and catching up with everything that had happened in the past few months was amazing. At the end of the evening, he walked me home (in freezing weather, him without a coat) and we kissed. I thought that it was the first for this new chapter. It turned out to be the last. After CIII we were back to calling every night and constantly IMing as if the past 8 months had never happened, both of us signing off with 'Love, Jordan' or ending the call with 'nightiloveyou'. While I wasn't sure if he would take me back, I began to let myself hope that everything would be okay again and my stupid decision in August would be in the past.
When I got the call May 17th, I was watching Episode 1 and getting stuff together for work the next day. I knew when my mom called me down saying that Jordan's father was on the phone something was wrong. I ran down the steps saying pleaselethimbeokay pleaselethimbeokay. When he said "Emily, Jordan was in an automobile accident and he didn't make it." my entire world fell apart. I collapsed in the middle of the kitchen and had my parents not been there with me, I honestly don't think I would have been able to pick myself back up.
So now I'm trying to make a new future for myself that doesn't include him, and it's really hard, but I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I do feel like he's there, somewhere, with me, probably making snarky comments about slash or my tendency to go ::thud:: at pretty blonde boys. Somehow that's comforting to me, thinking that wherever he is, he's still Jordan. I don't like the idea of perfect, harp and wings angels. It makes more sense for Jordan to be sitting up in the afterlife, having a Guinness and MSTing us. It's silly, but it's comforting.
Apparently I've rediscovered faith? And I'm still a heathen.
P.S. Yes, I can see you facepalming up there, Sweetie. You knew that I was incorrigible when you met me.
Jordan was just like that. He was the sweetest, most thoughtful man I've ever met. And it wasn't contrived or worked at. That was just *him*. He knew what to say to make you feel better. He knew how to make anyone laugh at the drop of a hat.
Even after I broke up with him, he made an amazing effort to be friendly to me while I was being a confused idiot. We became closer and closer again in the months leading up to Celebration III. He was helping me plan my armor, and just generally being a great friend. We met up at CIII Saturday evening, and after seeing the worst movie on the face of this earth (Sahara) we went to a restaurant and sat talking for hours. It felt like coming home. Talking to Jordan and catching up with everything that had happened in the past few months was amazing. At the end of the evening, he walked me home (in freezing weather, him without a coat) and we kissed. I thought that it was the first for this new chapter. It turned out to be the last. After CIII we were back to calling every night and constantly IMing as if the past 8 months had never happened, both of us signing off with 'Love, Jordan' or ending the call with 'nightiloveyou'. While I wasn't sure if he would take me back, I began to let myself hope that everything would be okay again and my stupid decision in August would be in the past.
When I got the call May 17th, I was watching Episode 1 and getting stuff together for work the next day. I knew when my mom called me down saying that Jordan's father was on the phone something was wrong. I ran down the steps saying pleaselethimbeokay pleaselethimbeokay. When he said "Emily, Jordan was in an automobile accident and he didn't make it." my entire world fell apart. I collapsed in the middle of the kitchen and had my parents not been there with me, I honestly don't think I would have been able to pick myself back up.
So now I'm trying to make a new future for myself that doesn't include him, and it's really hard, but I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I do feel like he's there, somewhere, with me, probably making snarky comments about slash or my tendency to go ::thud:: at pretty blonde boys. Somehow that's comforting to me, thinking that wherever he is, he's still Jordan. I don't like the idea of perfect, harp and wings angels. It makes more sense for Jordan to be sitting up in the afterlife, having a Guinness and MSTing us. It's silly, but it's comforting.
Apparently I've rediscovered faith? And I'm still a heathen.
P.S. Yes, I can see you facepalming up there, Sweetie. You knew that I was incorrigible when you met me.
1 Comments:
this is important. where did he find the key to hell? cuz i want one to hang around my neck!
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